I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize