How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
