Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
