My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
