We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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