while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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