So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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