she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
