Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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