3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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