it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
