He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
