She is in my trunk
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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