I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
