Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
