i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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