Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
