she takes plan B like it's going out of style
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize