And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
