the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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