1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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