She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
