addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
