Just cropdusted the office
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
