Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
