I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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