If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
