so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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