Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize