He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The power of my boobs compel you
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
