I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
