We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
