HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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