So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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