How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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