I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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