Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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