i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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