she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it was like eating out sand paper
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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