i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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