I seem to have left my pride at pride
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
