im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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