Don't you send me to vm
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
