why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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