yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
