I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
