I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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