Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
