Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
