Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
