turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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