She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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