so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
