AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
