I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
