I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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