Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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