they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
