Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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