I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
