Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This is the high leading the old right now
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
