Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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