so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
