I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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