dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
