Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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