and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
