Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
