I'm gonna have a badass scar
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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